######################################################################## Understanding Conversation ######################################################################## ============================================================================ People Aspect ============================================================================ ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Red flags: ------------------------------------------------------------------------ - Don't interrupt. - Never make people feel stupid - it's on me if they don't get what I say. - Don't give unsolicited advice - especially during someone is venting. - Silences are okay at times - don't rush to fill gaps. - When silences are not okay - non-verbal cues of discomfort or disengagement. - Avoid one-upping - sharing an experience is not a competition. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Green flags: ------------------------------------------------------------------------ - Ask questions if genuinely curious or concerned. - Assume positive intent if something feels off. - Feeling emotional is a strength - not a weakness. - Reflect back what you heard. - Micro-affirmations feels nice. - Validate feelings before responding with thoughts. ============================================================================ Topic Aspect ============================================================================ ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Red flags: ------------------------------------------------------------------------ - Avoid sarcasm - it's better to be boring than misunderstood. - Avoid triggering introspective topics - especially in casual or early-stage conversations. - Steer clear of overly personal or trauma-adjacent questions unless invited. - Don't dominate niche interests unless shared - recognise when others are losing interest. - Gossip about absent people erodes trust. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Green flags: ------------------------------------------------------------------------ - Find common ground topics: shared experiences, light current events, pop culture, mutual interests. - Use open-ended questions: "What was that like for you?" - Shift to emotions when stuck: "How did you feel about that?" instead of just facts.